Sunday, January 11, 2009

Jack is Back! Bitches!


Just think how crappy it would be to be Jack Bauer the hero of 24? Waking up everyday not knowing if THIS is the day when you are gonna have another really crappy day. Like more crappy than most people's crappiest day. You are gonna get shot at, beat up, stabbed, drugged,and yelled at (which for me would send me off the edge - like "how dare you get in my face TODAY of all days..bitch!")And there is no time to shower or bandage up any wounds or even take time for a nice lunch or a nap. The only consolation is that you know that after the afformentioned 24 hours that you will get a break...sure that break might be in a Chinese 're-education' camp but its a break. But that doesn't mean there aren't advantages to being Jack. I mean it must be cathartic to basically have carte blanc to kick ass and take names and know that you are not gonna have to face concenquences unless you shoot someone on your own side. As long as everyone you choke or punch or threaten is 'bad' then you're in the clear. Getting away to Africa for some rest and relaxation becomes a hassle when you have to ferry war orphans over the border of waring nations with a pissed off evile rebel force just minutes behind you. Of course though being Jack's partner is like wearing a red shirt on Star Trek. Jack is a magnet for bullets and explosions that never quite seem to get him. The people the terrorists torture will always choose you first because the feel it is painful for Jack to see someone he cares about being hurt. Please Jack, just don't tell anyone I am your friend or family member if you can avoid it...PLEASE. And you would think that being related to him would be easy but its NOT. When even your dad and brother turn out to be evil you gotta take a close look at your life and say FUCK ME! And tonight when the new season of 24 starts they are actually gonna put him in front of people from his OWN government to question him on his actions. Thats like scolding the sun for providing heat and light. Yeh I am ready for 24. Viva Jack Bauer!

No comments: