Sunday, February 18, 2018

My Poor, Sad, Unimpressed Bebe

My cat is a complicted creature. She 'talks' in a hum that expresses her current and continual displeasure with me. She does this all day long in case I forget. Today she was very chill. I actually heard her purr for the very first time. But once she realized I could hear her do that she went away. Sometimes she can't be more than two feet from me. Others, it's like she is on her period. Put the purr was nice. I never get the purr. It's because I didn't get her as a kitten that she is so weird. Our relationship is like one maniac who has no friends or family and another maniac with issues. I will let you figure out which is which. She won't chase the dot. She won't ripe apart the mouse. She won't chase the tin foil ball we call 'the bingie'. Nothing. She won't tolerate a change in pet food FLAVOR or BRAND. She likes Temptations but only FIVE at one time and she like a few mixed in with her regular dry food. Will not touch wet cat food. It's like Ebola to her but she will drink the juice from the Salmon can but NOT the Tuna can. Has no interest in human food. Never begs. Has to join me in the bathroom like it's our clubhouse. Was tempted many times to jump in the tub. For sure will do it one day.  Hates anything new like the new pet blanket she was given. Put in on her spare bedroom pillows. She moved to the next pillow over for her nap. Will not go outside. Has no interest. Doesn't bolt for the door. I have decided that is her lot in life. We will continue to pretend that we are on a spaceship to Mars and neither of us CAN go outside. Likes her water cold. Has racist views and opinion that she will blurt out at the oddest times. I am sure she voted for Trump but refuses to watch Fox News which she rails against as the REAL FAKE NEWS. Still sulks that none of the record players in our house work so she can't enjoy all my old vinyl. I gave her a taste and now she's jonesing for it. Can no longer be the banker in Monopoly after she was caught stealing 500 dollar bills which 'miraculously' would appear when she needed to buy Boardwalk or Park Place. Chooses to play with the thimble. I never trust anyone who wants to be the thimble.

For all these reasons and more, I love her.
She's my very best girl.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

She sounds like a typical cat. That is precisely why they are so delightful!

DrGoat said...

What Debra said and I like a cat that stays put.