Saturday, March 17, 2018

Putin Plans to Put Russians on Mars in 2019

I TOLD you idiots to get me there first. I am totally expendible and my needs are few. We have discussed this all before but now because of YOUR lack of vision, I am going to be stuck here on Earth while some comrade also named Calvin (if Russia has an equivalent version of my name) will end up orbiting the Red Planet ahead of a great Western Patriot like myself.


 
 
Putin also didn’t elaborate on why he wanted to send Russians to Mars. But what drives anyone to pursue space exploration? To bring glory to their homeland, to further scientific understanding — and, yes, to assert international dominance. If the nation’s space program has worked out its kinks, and can launch successful spacecraft in the timeline Putin says, Russia might have a decent shot at accomplishing all of those things.
 

2 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I understand that the lucky Russky's name is Calvinski.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Hero of the Russian People Calvinski just sounds like crap and I refuse to be introduced that way.